Early in my career, I was so driven to successful I worked six days each week. I went to work early in the morning and came home late at night.
I didn't see my wife or son enough. Together with my wife Priscilla, we came up with a plan that would allow me to spend all of my time on my one day off with my son, Daniel.
As I got promoted and traveled often for Marriott, I would talk to my son every night while I was gone. When I would arrive home on Friday from a week on the road, I took Priscilla out to dinner. It was a priority above anything else when I came home.
If your job requires you to be away from home, here are some tips to make sure your family remains a top priority:
Use Facetime and other technology to keep in touch with family.
While you are home, drop your hobbies. No golf, no beers in the garage with your buddies...make your family your hobby.
Make sure you are paying attention to each other. You want to pick up on it when your spouse if beginning to feel stressed or depressed.
Do things on purpose. Schedule time with your spouse and kids.
Make it easy for your family to reach out to you.
Change mindset when you get home. Drop work. Focus on your family.
It's not always about how much time you spend together, but how you spend the time you have together.
When you know you are going to have to spend time away from your family, be deliberate and talk about it. How are you going to do it? What routines are you going to set up? How are you going to make sure everyone in the family gets special attention.
Even if you have not done a good job with this yet, it is not too late to get better. Think about how you can do better tomorrow.
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Having difficult conversations is one of the toughest aspects of being a leader.
Terminating someone, in my opinion, is the hardest thing. But having difficult conversations is second, and avoiding these conversations can often lead to having to terminate someone.
If you can't make hard decisions or have hard conversations, don't become a parent and don't become a manager.
Most managers are not living up to their responsibility of having the tough conversations.
Tough conversations are about a variety of topics; performance, attitude, coming to work on time, poor communication, all are topics that are difficult to talk to people about. And so many managers avoid having the conversations they should have.
The power you hold in your hands as a leader is tremendous. Depending on how you role model, how you develop, and how you handle difficult conversations can determine if an employee becomes good or if they become great. Avoiding tough conversations is hurting people who look to you to help them succeed.
Being clear and upfront when you hire an employee can cut down on the difficult conversations you have to have. But even if you do a great job with clarity when you hire, you will still have to have difficult conversations with people.
When someone is doing something that needs to be improved, you don't have to save up a list of transgressions. You don't have to be historical.
You can have the entire conversation in 90 seconds. Here are the steps:
Bring up the current incident.
Be clear about what is happening.
Be clear about expectations.
Leave it that. It is that simple to let someone know they need to come to work on time or stop being rude in meetings.
Make sure you are having these conversations. Don't avoid it. You know which conversations you need to have. You know what you have been putting off. You know what is happening that will eventually hurt people or cause a problem if you don't take care of it. And you know what other employees are talking about. If you don't take care of the issue, if you don't have the difficult conversations, it makes you look bad as a leader. Others are paying attention to how you handle the situation.
Often, when people are not told someone is not wrong, they will take it as acceptance.
If you want to get better at having difficult conversations, consider reading these books;
One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard
Radical Candor by Kim Scott
Crucial Conversations by Kerry Paterson
Also, check on Dan Cockerell's podcast episode about the Power of Feedback.
When I am looking to hire someone, I don't care where you went to school or what your grades were. To some degree, I don't care about your technical knowledge.
I am more concerned about who you are. Have you experienced a hardship? Did you overcome it? Experience and exposure you get from adversity can be worth more than getting a degree or improving your technical skills.
Who you are is what I, and other leaders, are looking at. Do you keep promises? Can you let your ego go? Can you work with and for others? Are you curious? Do you read?
Persistence will get my attention. Have you found yourself in a hole and managed to dig yourself out?
The three most important leadership qualities can't be learned in school.
Curiosity
Humility
A Drive to Improve
Don't underestimate curiosity. Curiosity causes you to think differently. When you think differently, you act differently.
Ask more questions. Read more books. Get more experience and exposure. And then do something with it.
Knowing stuff is easy. Doing stuff is hard. Be curious and then had the discipline to create action from your curiosity.
A good book to understand the mindset shift needed to embrace these qualities, check out Motivation-Based Interviewing.
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Many people have a job they would consider a dream job, but they never go for it.
And if they do, they wonder how hard they should pursue it.
There can be more than one way to get your dream job. Sometimes you need to take a job just to get in the door.
Are you willing to take a gamble on yourself? Take a lower job so you can show them how good you are.
Or, know specifically what you are going after and find out what you need to do.
Most hard things take time. You have to invest in yourself to figure out where you need to improve and work on it. Stick with it.
And be willing to take a risk. It won't fall in your lap. You have to be willing to take a risk.
People underestimate what they can achieve. Too often, I hear people reference their background, education, parents, the city they live in, or a number of other reasons they can't pursue their dream job. None of that matters. Don't sell yourself short. You can accomplish it if you set your mind to it and become deliberate.
Focus on what you want and figure out how you can get it. It may take you a year or it may take five years. You have to be relentless. Get up every morning and go for it. Be relentless. Wear people down until you get what you are after.
As you pursue your dream job, don't let up on your standards for the current job you have. You are a professional. People are counting on you. Yes, go after your dream. But never let your performance slip when you are being paid to do a job.
After 27 years with Disney, including becoming the Vice President of the Magic Kingdom, my son Daniel retired to pursue his own speaking and consulting career.
At Disney, Dan had a wonderful career and a job most people would love to have. Yet, he left to pursue his dream and to be able to help more organizations. Many people would say Dan took a big risk.
As Dan says, "The future is not going to be clear, but you have to move forward with confidence that it is going to work out." He knew his experience from Disney would allow him to help more people if he struck out on his own.
Now, Dan focuses on helping companies develop a culture that is a positive experience for employees. Culture is like the weather in the way it impacts people. But you have the ability to influence the weather in your kingdom. Come rain or shine, you have to show up as a leader and create the right environment for other people.
Dan has just launched his own podcast, Come Rain or Shine. You can find it on iTunes, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Or visit dancockerell.com. Below you listen to the episode where Dan interviews me for his podcast. You will enjoy it. Dan asks some great questions.
The secrets to creating a good resume may not be what you think.
It is not design that matters. Or keywords. Getting people to know you, the person is what matters.
Too often, people consider a complete resume to be a chronological list of the jobs you have had. If you do this, you are going about it all wrong.
Want to find out if your resume stands out from the crowd?
Show your resume to people you know and ask for their feedback. Also, show your resume to companies. Don't apply for a job, just ask if they would consider giving you feedback on your resume and insights into what they look for.
If you don't have enough experience or the right experience, you need to include a letter to show a potential employer what they will not see on a resume. Are you persistent? Give examples to show how you stick to it, keep your promises, and you do what you say you are going to do. Find a way to show what makes you different and how you can benefit the organization.
Use the letter as an opportunity to convince an organization to hire based on things that are not even job-related. Convince them you are the right person.
People want to know what you can do for them, not where you have worked and for how long.
But here is the biggest secret about a resume...it is not about the resume at all. If you want to get a job, it is about the relationship. If you rely on your resume, you won't get very far. Spend your time building relationships. The relationships you build are what gives credibility to your resume.
We have a seminar coming up that is open to the public. Join us to talk about leadership, management, and customer service. We will be recording a live episode of Creating Disney Magic, too. Get more information HERE.